the energetics of reiki.

I had my first reiki session a couple of weeks ago.

7 a.m.: not knowing what to expect, but eager to calm the never-ending chatter in my mind (the stress and anxiety has been real, people), I logged onto Zoom to see my friend Alyson’s face fill my screen. We chatted as I picked at my fingers just below the line of my keyboard.

She let me know that she’ll start with some gentle breathwork and then I should be comfortably resting for the remainder of the session.

I moved to my couch, propping my laptop up on my mini trampoline, nestled my Bluetooth headphones over my ears, and tossed out a blanket over my legs and torso.

And for the length of the session, I just breathed with my eyes closed, observing the sensations in my body.

I can’t lie—I was a little underwhelmed. I wanted to start crying. I wanted to get really hot and overwhelmed with undeniable energy. I wanted intense shivers or chills or something. I would’ve even been okay with falling asleep and slipping into a reiki-induced dream.

None of the above happened.

What happened: I was generally aware that I was breathing, awake, eyes closed, and present on my couch. I felt mostly cold and some tingling sensations here and there. I felt only mildly dreamy.

When she called me back, I was really hoping I had done it “right.”

My body felt peaceful. Calm. I felt a current moving through my cells that wasn’t there before. A steady pulse of ease.

As we reconnected, she shared some of the things that came up for her. She shared that she had tears start up at one point, that she felt some sadness that I was holding for other people (more thoughts on my tendency to do that as a Reflector and Enneagram 9 here). She shared that she could feel how blocked my bottom three chakras were, while my upper ones felt more open. She shared that there may be some inner child stuff that’s stopping me from shining my full light. She shared that life is nudging me to explore new possibilities and be open to new directions, new ways of creative expression.

I took all this in.

I guess I had done it “right.”

But I felt confused. I’ve been exploring new possibilities and directions and creative expressions. I’ve been intentionally trying to shine my authentic light. I’ve been doing all these things. Why was the universe still trying to tell me I needed to do more?

I was left with more questions than answers.

Which is where I had gone wrong. I had gone right back into my logical, over-thinking mind, instead of just being present with my body.

I wanted reiki to tell me I was right on track. Or I wanted it to spontaneously take away all the back-and-forth in my brain. I wanted to be given some answer to a question that I hadn’t even fully formed.

But like most modalities, that’s not possible.

And it’s also not the point.

Reiki is an ancient Japanese modality for stress release. How your actual, physical body is feeling after a session is exactly the point of it. The literal intent behind reiki is to bring life force energy back to your body and refresh your vitality.

And when I stepped back to consider that, in some ways, it had “healed” me from the tug-of-war.

Because when I released all the logical stuff, I was left inside my body, which just felt really freaking calm.

Easeful. Stress-free. Not chaotic. Peaceful, even.

I felt airy and light in my bones, in my muscles.

I felt like I was floating.

The spiral of stress that I had been holding was gone.

Entirely disappeared.

“Rei” means universal and “ki” means life force energy.

I had a friend thousands of miles away work my energy through a computer screen and all the sudden my body felt different.

It occurred to me: we don’t need to “logic” our energy. We don’t need to overthink it, apply labels, contort ourselves into figuring out the why.

The why doesn’t always exist. Or, sometimes, it just doesn’t matter.

Your energy isn’t asking for you to understand it. It’s asking for you to recognize it and sit with it.

It’s asking you to seek help when you need to clear something or reset your energetic body.

Body, not mind.

Often, spinning our wheels and overthinking is exactly what’s keeping us stuck in our anxiety and stress.

Sometimes our energy is just asking us to be present.

I don’t need to “decode’ the messages that came through.

I can just relish the calm that I feel right now and be open to the energetic shifts as they come.

I would do it again in a heartbeat to have this consistent feeling of peace that is still with me.

I feel more open. More available for deep conversations and connections. More available to love. More available to creative expression.

More universal life force energy.

Which is what we all need a bit more of, if you ask me.

xx

Court

life force energy is all around us.